


keep going

by mainvocalrocky



Category: VIXX
Genre: Altitude sickness, Angst, Fluff, Headaches & Migraines, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Sickfic, and then leo too, based off that time that ravi passed out on stage, poor LR, theres a lot of crying im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-01-10 12:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12299433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mainvocalrocky/pseuds/mainvocalrocky
Summary: Hakyeon hoped with every fiber of his being that Wonshik just tripped. He was going to get back up any second now. He was going to push himself up off of the stage floor, and continue performing with the rest of them -but he didn't, and there was a sinking feeling telling Hakyeon that he wasn't going to.





	1. the show must go on (or so they say)

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of what happened in Mexico, but **it is still a work of fiction!**
> 
> Hello again!! This is something I've been working on for a while and just recently had the motivation to continue. It should be about three chapters but?? I'll see what the feedback on this first chapter is first.
> 
>  _I'm still working on the hurt/comfort series for VIXX! If you have any suggestions please leave a comment!_ I feel like my ideas get a bit repetitive haha.

“What’s first again? Chained Up?”

 

Jaehwan decided he would give Wonshik a look before answering, narrowing his eyes and pressing his hands to his hips, ultimately looking at him like he was stupid. Wonshik looked tempted to take a step back, the way his eyes had suddenly widened. “I just told you that, like, five minutes ago.” Jaehwan puffed. It was a stupid question, too. They had done this a hundred times already, what was he expecting them to do first? Super Hero?

 

“Oh...right, sorry.” Wonshik murmured, but his eyes were off somewhere else, probably trying to remember when exactly that was. Jaehwan couldn’t blame him for forgetting - he had a bad habit of tuning everything out when he was focused on something.

 

What exactly was he so focused on, anyway?

 

Jaehwan smiled anyway, turning back to the mirror to continue fixing his hair. “It’s just funny, you’re usually the one reminding me the song order.”

 

Wonshik took a seat not far behind Jaehwan with a heavy sigh. Normally Jaehwan wouldn’t have noted that, but the way he started taking breaths after the initial sigh worried him. It sounded almost like he’d just run up a flight of stairs. Jaehwan experienced something similar - he was far more out of breath than usual after hitting certain high notes, or keeping longer notes - maybe it was the heat. Mexico’s heat was way different from Korea’s, but he couldn’t pinpoint exactly why that was.

 

Jaehwan was watching him through the mirror, mostly because he was worried something was off with him. It didn’t seem right. He had been pretty sluggish since they landed in Mexico City - maybe even before, Jaehwan couldn’t remember. He couldn’t seem to keep his head straight on at rehearsal, and it didn’t get better since then either.

 

“Did you get enough sleep?” Jaehwan asked in a soft tone, assuming that must have been the reason. Wonshik was the kind of person to either sleep for a ridiculous amount of hours or get no sleep at all. There was no in between, which was unfortunate, considering both weren’t very healthy methods of sleeping.

 

“I think it’s the jetlag.” Wonshik mumbled as he lowered his head, pressing his palms to his eyelids. Jaehwan didn’t get the answer he was looking for. He assumed if Wonshik was avoiding it, the answer was no.

 

“Didn’t Hakyeon bring medicine for jetlag? Or, something like that?” Jaehwan questioned as he turned, a crease forming in his brow as his eyes caught Wonshik. He didn’t like the way he was slumped over in the chair like that.

 

“I took them,” he answered, lifting his head again. He must have felt Jaehwan’s gaze. “I guess they helped a little bit.”

 

“That’s good, then.” Jaehwan smiled at him, but didn’t get one back. “I think Hakyeon was planning for us to go out to eat after the concert, but I don’t think he’d mind if you just went to the hotel, so you can sleep.”

 

Jaehwan remembered Wonshik’s diet, too. Jaehwan didn’t know the specifics or the extent of it, but he knew that even if he would come with them, he probably wouldn’t eat anything. It was probably adding to his whole sluggish attitude too.

 

“Yeah.” Wonshik simply nodded, but his eyes didn’t leave the floor.

 

Jaehwan opened his mouth, ready to ask what was going on with him. Something was very clearly bothering him, but he wasn’t going to say, Jaehwan knew that. He also knew he probably won’t give a straight answer if Jaehwan asked him here, backstage, in the middle of a concert.

 

“You’re so cute, sleepy Wonshikkie,” Jaehwan said in the cutest voice he could muster as he pulled on Wonshik’s arm, ready to pull him off of the chair. It got a giggle out of him, and Jaehwan couldn’t help but give a smile back. It was cute, that he could get Wonshik to smile simply by being _cute._

 

“I'll carry you on stage, sleepy Wonshikkie.” Jaehwan giggled, pulling Wonshik along with him so they would be ready to go on stage.

 

Wonshik laughed at the statement, which filled Jaehwan's heart for a moment, but drained just as soon as his ears caught the quick breaths that followed. “I'd like to see you try, you and your noodle arms.”

 

He was smiling, that's what mattered, Jaehwan told himself. He was fine, he had to be.

 

* * *

 

Something was horribly wrong, something Hakyeon couldn’t exactly pinpoint. He was nearly losing his mind because of it.

 

They had finished up the first portion of their question and answer session with Hakyeon worried out of his mind. Something seemed off with everyone, especially Wonshik. Hakyeon had noticed a while ago that he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, and the fans noticed too. He had even apologized for it during the questions, blamed it on jet lag. But Hakyeon knew that Wonshik was used to this, and good about pushing himself through it.

 

Even if that was the truth, it still sent Hakyeon into a spiral of concern - especially watching him perform _Error_ just after their break.

 

He was sluggish, looking almost too tired to move. Hakyeon wanted to tell him that he could step back if he needed to, he didn’t have to keep performing, being as exhausted as he was. But he knew his dongsaeng well, and even if he told him that, Wonshik would shrug it off. Nothing had ever stopped him from performing before, not in their four years together.

 

Hakyeon chewed on his lip, afraid he was jinxing it.

 

The lights went off after _Error_ came to an end, and the members began to take the positions for the _Secret Night_ intro. Hakyeon brushed past Wonshik for a moment, eyeing him with a serious expression.

 

Wonshik didn’t even react. His eyes were somewhere off in another reality.

 

Hakyeon didn't have time to tell Wonshik to step out. He didn't have time to ask him what the hell was going on with him, he didn't have time to do anything but watch him, watch and hope that he was okay.

 

And the first note of _Secret Night_ played in his earpiece.

 

The rest of them were lying on the floor as Wonshik began the intro, and so far, everything was going well. Hakyeon couldn’t see him as well as he would like to from his position on the floor, through the lighting, and it was frustrating him, but he had to trust Wonshik. He was a performer, and he had been for a long time.

 

So far, so good. So far, so good.

 

Hakyeon gave a shaky sigh of relief, sending his mind blank for a moment, waiting for the first line, Hongbin’s. However, just before Hongbin opened his mouth, Hakyeon saw something list sideways out of the corner of his eye.

 

Every part of his brain was screaming that there were only four members surrounding him now. He had gone through this dance a thousand times, and Wonshik was supposed to be in front of him, but _Wonshik was on the floor._

 

Hakyeon hoped with every fiber of his being that Wonshik just tripped. He was going to get back up any second now. He was going to push himself up off of the stage floor, and continue performing with the rest of them - but he didn't, and there was a sinking feeling telling Hakyeon that he wasn't going to.

 

Only about a second had passed after the sudden realization hit him. Wonshik wasn’t getting up, he was lying on the stage floor in front of him. Hakyeon wanted to scream, he wanted to know what the hell had happened, and why here, why _now._ Never in their four years of being together had this happened, not once.

 

Hakyeon’s heart skipped a few beats when he realized Wonshik was able to carry some of his own weight, as he helped to lift him off of the floor - he wasn't completely unconscious, but he was definitely halfway there.

 

It wasn’t long until the others registered the situation. The staff must have realized too, there were a few of them standing at the stage entrance, motioning Hakyeon over.

 

He wasted no time in leading Wonshik backstage. He had so many questions, god, he wanted to cry, but he had to block it out - block out the member's stares, block out the fan's screaming - focus on getting Wonshik backstage and _keep going._

 

Wonshik was finally with the staff, but as soon as Hakyeon’s hand pulled back, Wonshik's knees gave out again. No matter how much Hakyeon wanted to stand there and sob, how much he wanted to follow to make sure Wonshik was okay, he had to turn around.

 

The members continued their parts sluggishly, all staring doe-eyed at their leader for answers. Hakyeon glared at all four, _remember our training_ , he wanted to say. He had seen this happen to so many groups in the past, and so many different reactions from the leaders -

 

They had to remember the golden rule, no matter how badly his heart slammed against his rib cage. The uncertainty was eating away at him.

 

The show must go on. They had to keep going. They were professionals.

 

  
Hakyeon took the lead with their dance, dancing through Wonshik’s rap. Dancing through Wonshik’s rap _without Wonshik._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is a bit short but the next two(??) chapters should be longer!!
> 
> Thank you so so much for reading, and _remember to give me suggestions for my VIXX hurt comfort series! Any member, any ship, any scenario!_
> 
> My tumblr is radamn by the way! Come talk to me I'm so lonely oml


	2. keep yourself together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hakyeon had lost two members to the stage, and the remaining were falling apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with another chapter! Comments are appreciated, and as always, if anyone has any hurt/comfort ideas for VIXX hit me up!

Taekwoon wasn't far from the stage entrance.

 

He sat hunched over in a foldable chair that someone must have pulled out for him. He was horribly pale, comparable to a sheet of paper, almost. His eyes were at the floor, holding an oxygen mask to his face. 

 

_ An oxygen mask _ . Hakyeon wanted to start crying.

 

Taekwoon must have disappeared backstage as soon as the lights came off with the end of  _ Secret Night.  _ Hakyeon hardly had any time to react. Suddenly there were only three members left in his peripheral vision, and Hakyeon was absolutely clueless, completely panicked.

 

“Hey,” he murmured with a haste approach, his hand interlocking in Taekwoon's free one the second he was by his side, “what happened? Are you okay? Did you pass out too-”

 

“I'm okay. Please don't worry.” Taekwoon murmured softly as he pulled off the mask for a moment, eying all four of them. There was so much anxiety in his eyes, in his posture - god, his hands were still shaking - “I didn’t want anything to happen on stage, I just - ” he was out of breath, and Hakyeon pushed the hand that held his mask back to his face.

 

Hakyeon kept a firm grip on Taekwoon’s hand, holding his head close to his chest, shushing him quietly. Taekwoon was breaking, suffering. “You’re okay now, love. Please don’t try to talk, I’m sure they gave you this mask for a reason.”

 

Jaehwan was suddenly walking off, looking lost as he wandered away from them, and Hakyeon nearly panicked for a moment before realizing where exactly he was going.

 

Wonshik wasn't here.

 

“You need to rest. What are you doing sitting up?” Hakyeon shook his head as he gripped his hand a bit tighter. The question was rhetorical to Hakyeon, but Taekwoon was tempted to answer anyway, already trying to pull the mask off - despite Hakyeon’s silent protests.

 

“You passed out, didn’t you?” Hongbin mumbled, almost sounding angry. The concern in his tone was much more obvious. “I saw you fall backstage, when I turned around - the staff caught you.”

 

Hakyeon hadn’t realized he was holding his breath.

 

“Only for a second,” Taekwoon murmured through the mask, keeping his gaze low and off the members around him, “I’m okay.” He wasn’t, he really wasn’t, and it was tearing him apart.

 

Hakyeon didn’t know what to feel. He wanted to yell at him, but cry at the same time, but then handle this as calmly as possible - because they were  _ okay,  _ they had to be, and Hakyeon knew this could have gone much worse than it did.

 

He helped Taekwoon off the chair and brought him down to the floor with him, holding him closely, pressing kisses to his sweat-dampened hair. His shoulders were so broad, it was almost hard to get his arms around him. He was still shaking, but stifling sobs on top of that, now. He was afraid, and Hakyeon was worried that he understood the situation as well as anyone in the audience did.

 

His breaths started to even out after a few minutes. Hakyeon blocked out everything around him as he held Taekwoon. He registered that there were staff members around them now, asking them questions, but thankfully Hongbin and Sanghyuk took over. He only picked up parts that mentioned their names - they said Taekwoon was insisting he was okay, that he didn’t want to be on a stretcher - he wanted to be backstage so he could see the rest of the members.

 

There wasn’t any mention of Wonshik.

 

“Hyung,” Sanghyuk knelt down next to Hakyeon, his voice shaky and quiet, “we’ll wait here with Taekwoon. You should go to Wonshik.”

 

Hakyeon’s heart dropped. If Taekwoon was off this badly, he couldn’t imagine seeing Wonshik right now.

 

With the help of Sanghyuk, Hakyeon carefully pried Taekwoon away from him, realizing that he had fallen asleep when he didn’t resist it. They laid him down carefully, and although he was asleep, he stayed curled up. Hongbin slid a folded shirt under his head, so at least, he wouldn’t have to lay his head on the floor. Hakyeon stood, and Sanghyuk took his place on the floor, running his hand along Taekwoon’s arm.

 

“We’ll let you know if anything happens.” Hongbin told him quietly.

 

Hakyeon nodded back, and before he turned to leave, he saw tears from both Hongbin and Sanghyuk’s eyes.

 

* * *

 

Hakyeon felt something pulling at the edges of his heart, threatening to tear it into two pieces.

 

They were professional when they had to be - but right now, the floodgates were open, and all the emotion he had been holding back for the sake of their fans had just burst. 

 

Wonshik was still unconscious. Hakyeon was hoping for the opposite, but he should have known - he watched him collapse again as the staff pulled him off stage, and he didn't get up again, not after that.

 

There was an oxygen mask strapped to his face, just like the one he had seen on Taekwoon earlier. His chest rose and fell steadily, which told Hakyeon that the latter was at least sleeping peacefully.

 

Jaehwan was standing beside the stretcher Wonshik was laid out on, a hand playing with his hair. He was murmuring things Hakyeon couldn't make out from a distance, and the closer he got, he realized he was crying.

 

Hakyeon’s eyes started watering too.

 

This wasn't supposed to happen. Not in their four years together, had this ever happened, to any extent. Hakyeon had seen it before - other groups where idols injured themselves, where they were sick - where they nearly passed out - but Wonshik, he just  _ fell.  _ He couldn't even get up without help.

 

“Yeonnie,” Jaehwan sniffed, not lifting his head, “they said he hasn’t opened his eyes yet…”

 

That wasn’t what Hakyeon wanted to hear, but it was what he expected. He approached the opposite side of the stretcher with hesitance, a hand resting at its edge. He was just about as pale as Taekwoon was, but sickly, almost. His cheeks were colored, although a blotchy pink - and his lips were pale, even through the makeup.

 

“He’s tired,” Hakyeon reasoned studying his face, “he’s okay. He wouldn’t want you worrying so much.”

 

“You say that like you’re not worrying too.” Jaehwan mumbled in response, voice thick with tears. His sentence was punctuated with a choked sob - it sounded like he was drowning for a second there.

 

“Don’t cry, Jaehwan,” Hakyeon was beside Jaehwan now, and reached a hand out to grasp the latter’s, as tightly as he could. He wasn’t reassuring, not at all with the tears that finally slipped from his eyes.

 

Jaehwan shook his head, rubbing desperately at his eyes. “I noticed something was wrong,” he murmured, cupping Wonshik’s warm cheek with a shaky hand. Hakyeon watched the latter’s tears spill again, and he turned his head, as if he couldn’t bear to look at Wonshik anymore. “I thought...I thought he was just tired, I - ”

 

“That’s part of it.” Hakyeon agreed softly, hardly moving his head with a nod.

 

“They said so much,” Jaehwan’s voice was breaking, “the venue is up high, they said it made him sick - and then, the heat, and he was so tired, and -  _ god,  _ Hakyeon, the diet, they said he’s not eating enough, I didn’t even notice - ”

 

It was a lot of new information at once, but Hakyeon’s job now was to comfort Jaehwan - he knew how he felt, he had been in that position so many times - so helpless what it was too late. He held him closely, but Jaehwan’s hand never left Wonshik’s, not for a second.

 

Everything he said was making sense, lining up in his mind. What he said about the venue must have been altitude sickness, which was affecting all of them to some extent, but Hakyeon understood why it hit Wonshik and Taekwoon the hardest. Wonshik’s fast paced rapping left him out of breath pretty quickly, and Taekwoon’s high notes had the same effect - performing in such high altitudes must have made it miserable.

 

Wonshik’s diet was something Hakyeon hadn’t even thought about paying any attention to. That, combined with the obvious exhaustion must have been what sent him over the edge - nearly literally.

 

Jaehwan suddenly jerked out of Hakyeon’s grip, his full attention on Wonshik again. Hakyeon almost stumbled backwards before turning his head to eye the two of them.

 

“Mmf…” Wonshik was struggling to keep his eyes open, but they still shone with concern. Hakyeon nearly choked back a sob - he wasn't supposed to be worrying. “Jaehwannie...you're crying…’ his voice was muffled through the oxygen mask.

 

“I'm okay, Wonshikkie,” Jaehwan mumbled tearfully, wiping at his eyes before he took Wonshik's hand from his grip, frantically pressing kisses to it, with a mentality that Wonshik would disappear if he didn't.

 

Wonshik was starting to look panicked, which only made sense. Two of his members were standing above him crying, one of them kissing him as if he had nearly lost him. He was aware of the oxygen mask over his face now, and he used his free hand to try and pull it off. His eyes were widening and his breath was quickening, but Jaehwan's kisses slowed and moved to his forehead, murmuring sweet things to him in between.

 

Tears slipped from his eyes, but he was calmer, his eyes lost in Jaehwan's. Hakyeon wondered what he remembered, if he understood anything going on around him, or if he was simply clinging to Jaehwan’s existence - if that was true, he was blocking out everything else, which might be better for him right now.

 

His eyes were shut again, slipping him back into his sleep.

 

* * *

 

Wonshik and Taekwoon were gone before Hakyeon had even realized.

 

One of the staff members had taken him off into another room, giving him a full report on the situation. Heat exhaustion and altitude sickness for the both of them, something close to malnutrition on top of it for Wonshik. There was so much  _ talk.  _ Talk of hospitals, talk of schedule cancellations and even a hiatus.

 

But right now, they needed to release a statement. Hakyeon had no doubt the news of this was spreading through the Starlight community like wildfire, he couldn’t imagine how worried the fans must be, without any information of the situation.

 

The statement said what it needed to say. An apology. A reassurance. But Hakyeon was positive it wouldn’t help anyone’s concern. It certainly wasn’t helping his. Jellyfish Entertainment posted the statement on the fancafe, and left it at that.

 

When Hakyeon was out, they were reduced for four members.

 

“They took them to the hospital.” Sanghyuk explained when Hakyeon approached the group, practically huddled up in their waiting room. Jaehwan’s hand was gripping Sanghyuk’s, holding on for dear life. “It’s not bad, I think...but I guess it’s better to go than not to. Right, hyung?”

 

“Yeah.” Hongbin agreed with a nearly invisible nod. Hakyeon took notice of his red rimmed eyes, something he hadn’t seen on Hongbin in a very long time. “Taekwoon was looking a little better before he left...and Jaehwan said Wonshik woke up. Those are both good things.”

 

Hakyeon paused, waiting for Jaehwan to pipe in. He stayed silent, head bowed.

 

“They’re okay. Things seem a bit better,” Hakyeon summarized, his gaze strong on Jaehwan, “We’ll finish up the concert with the fansign...then we’ll need to eat, and then back to the hotel. They might be back by then as well.”

 

Sanghyuk murmured a ‘c’mon’ as he pushed himself off of the floor, pulling Jaehwan’s hand with him. The latter stood with reluctance, almost stumbling against the younger members. He looked so  _ lost _ , and it was breaking Hakyeon’s heart. It was so rare to see him like this.

 

Sanghyuk snuck a hand under Jaehwan’s chin and pushed it up an inch or so, greeting him with a goofy smile. It was strange, knowing that Sanghyuk was the younger one here - he was taller, broader, and in this case, wiser - he knew not to worry about his hyungs. He trusted them.

 

Jaehwan couldn’t help but smile back. He tried shying away before moved his chin again to face him. 

 

Their hands never left the other’s grip, and that warmed Hakyeon beyond belief.

 

They were going to be okay. They had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Last chapter the boys will be reunited. Lots of crying and sadness. But also fluff, fluff is nice
> 
> I'm currently working on something VIXX-in-a-power-outage related, which will prrrobbably a sickfic?? Add to the chaos am I right lmao. I've been neglecting Hongbin and Sanghyuk honestly so I might work it out that it's centered one on of them!


	3. and they'll keep dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonshik's thoughts keep him from his sleep, and it's painful for Taekwoon to watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! This chapter turned out a little darker than I expected,, but it's not too bad, don't worry!!  
> This chapter is mostly wontaek/LR <3
> 
>  **;warnings:** allusions to depression, mentions of vomiting (nothing bad, but the warning is here just in case!)

“Should I text him?”

 

Jaehwan murmured the quiet question to Hakyeon, who sat beside him at the restaurant table. Jaehwan’s hands were still shaking, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t keep them still. His head was pounding, his thoughts only focusing on the two empty spaces in their group.

 

It was odd, sitting like this without the two of them, and  _ knowing  _ what had happened, seeing it for themselves. The staff informed them that they were released from the hospital rather quickly, simple advised to get rest, which Taekwoon had promised was the case. Although, that didn’t make this any less concerning. 

 

“He’s probably still asleep, Jaehwan.” Hakyeon answered, eying with worriedly. Jaehwan nodded in acknowledgement, but it changed nothing. “Taekwoon said he checked on him earlier, remember? He was asleep then.”

 

Jaehwan didn’t respond. He did know what  _ ‘checked’  _ meant, but for all he knew, Taekwoon could’ve simply knocked and waited for a response. Not getting one ruled as  _ ‘asleep’ _ .

 

“I’m just worried.” Jaehwan mumbled finally, deciding to slide his phone into the coat that hung over his chair, so it would no longer tempt him. “You know how he is.”

 

“There’s the videos, too.” Sanghyuk spoke up after slurping the noodles that hung from his chin. “If he sees those, it’ll just make it worse.”

 

“What videos?” Hakyeon huffed, his tone almost angry. Hongbin and Sanghyuk, sitting across from Hakyeon and Jaehwan, both looked at each other before looking back to their leader, almost unsure what to say. 

 

“Starlights recording the concert.” Hongbin answered, brows raised, thinking it was obvious. Hongbin looked tempted to ask if Hakyeon had ever  _ been  _ to one of their concerts - fans always had their cameras out. “There were definitely a lot of cameras still out when it happened. Some of them must have gotten posted, somewhere. Twitter, YouTube.”

 

“Why would they  _ post _ something like that?” Hakyeon’s voice was suddenly raised, and he looked about ready to pounce on the table, eyebrows pressed together in confusion.

 

“I don’t think it’s for bad reasons.” Sanghyuk told him. He waved his hands defensively before looking around, reminding his hyung that they were in a public place. “If the staff posted that statement, a lot of Starlights are probably worried. They just want to know what happened.”

 

Hakyeon settled back into his seat. “Still, if that’s true, and Wonshik sees them…”

 

Jaehwan’s eyes became fixed on the table in thought. They all knew how Wonshik would get, he was harder on himself than any of the other members - he guarded his reputation with his life. He had every reason to, after it had been torn down so many times before. He knew Wonshik would worry about who heard the news, who saw the videos.

 

Jaehwan must have looked visibly tempted to pull out his phone again because Hakyeon gripped his hand, taking out his own phone. “I’ll text Taekwoon, make sure for him to double check.” he told him, eyes dark and focused.

 

He held onto Hakyeon’s hand for dear life, it seemed, until they returned to the hotel.

 

* * *

 

Wonshik felt his head throbbing, swarming with a million thoughts.

 

It was something he had gotten used to, after four years - four years on the dot,  _ tomorrow _ , and he was practically bedridden for the anniversary. The thoughts always seemed to multiply when he was by himself, when he heard nothing but himself.

 

It was so much worse tonight.

 

Wonshik couldn’t remember a thing from what had happened. He remembered performing right up until the end of  _ Error.  _ He remembered how shitty he was feeling, how tired he was, how much he wanted to go home and  _ sleep. _

 

He chewed on his lip. He got his wish now.

 

He remembered waking up, seeing Jaehwan’s face, seeing his tears. It wasn’t often that Jaehwan would cry. All Wonshik could remember thinking in that moment was that he was going to kill whoever was making him cry like that.

 

He heard another knock on the door - the same timidness from about an hour ago; it must have been Taekwoon again. Wonshik really didn’t have the energy to get up to answer the first time. Taekwoon must have just given up, and retreated back to wherever he was. This time, however, he was persistent.

 

Wonshik groaned when he pushed himself out of bed, realizing then how off he felt, as if he was swimming rather than walking. It was definitely something he didn’t want to get used to.

 

He pulled the door open, nearly stumbling with the weight it brought with him. Taekwoon was watching carefully the second they made eye contact, scanning him up and down for any sign of change. Another thing he didn’t want to get used to.

 

“Hi.” Taekwoon murmured, just to get the greeting out of the way. “Hakyeon wanted me to check on you.”

 

Wonshik chewed the inside of his lip. Even  _ thinking  _ about Hakyeon right now made his stomach drop. He couldn’t even imagine the scolding he would get from him later, and honestly, he wanted to put it off as long as he possibly could. Was he angry with him? Or just worried?

 

“I’m okay, no need to check on me.” Wonshik assured, although, it was comforting to know that Hakyeon wasn’t angry enough to avoid him. Taekwoon only hummed in response, but it didn’t seem like he believed a single word coming out of his mouth. “Are you?”

 

Taekwoon only nodded. He looked okay - troubled, for sure, and Wonshik guessed it was for the same reasons he was, reasons regarding their eldest hyung.

 

“You should be resting, Wonshik.” Taekwoon told him softly. He must have known that Wonshik had simply been lying in his bed, thinking too much. “Do you want to take something to help you sleep?”

 

Wonshik paused for a moment. The idea was tempting. He really wanted to shut his eyes and fall back onto the mattress right now, but he knew that even with sleeping pills, his thoughts would fight any idea of rest. They always did.

 

“That’s okay. Thanks, though.” Wonshik promised him, still only receiving an unconvinced look from Taekwoon. “Tell Hakyeon that I’m okay, yeah?”

 

“I will.” The older nodded. “I’ll be down at the gym. Text me if you need anything.”

 

Taekwoon took one careful step forward to press a kiss to Wonshik’s cheek. He melted into it - that wasn’t something Taekwoon did often, not for any of them, and right now, Wonshik just wanted someone to hold him. He couldn’t do this by himself anymore.

 

But he didn’t pull in. He wouldn’t put a burden like that onto Taekwoon.

 

Taekwoon only waved him off before disappearing back into the hallway, and the next thing he knew, Wonshik was curled up in his sheets again, trying to fight off the urge to cry - trying to push every thought out of his head at once, only making his headache worse.

 

* * *

 

Taekwoon himself was starting to wonder why he was even at the hotel gym. His muscles ached, he was exhausted, and he knew that working out wasn’t the best option right now, considering the circumstances. But to him, it was better than lying in bed and overthinking things - which he knew was exactly what Wonshik was doing.

 

He couldn’t imagine what it felt like to pass out on stage like that. Taekwoon was still freaking out about passing out  _ back _ stage.

 

He stepped onto the treadmill, adjusting the settings so they weren’t too fast, just a normal walking pace. He had thought about using his headphones for music, at least, but he was quickly finding that his thoughts were too loud. He could hardly hear his rational side think anymore.

 

Calling Hakyeon was tempting. He was afraid how Hakyeon would react, sure, but he really missed him. He would even be fine with just being near him, at this point.

 

Taekwoon nearly found himself stumbling over the treadmill when he caught sight of Wonshik wandering into the empty gym. He had thought about asking Wonshik if he wanted to come with him, but he didn’t, and he was here anyway - although, it didn’t look like he was here to work out with him. He was still wearing the same t-shirt and pair of sweatpants from when Taekwoon had last checked on him. That was nearly an hour ago, it seemed.

 

“Bored?” Taekwoon asked as he stepped off of the treadmill, tilting his head but getting no reaction from Wonshik. The guy looked one hundred percent exhausted, dead on his feet. Taekwoon wondered how he had made it down here in one piece. “Wonshik?”

 

“Is it okay if I work out with you?” Wonshik finally said, but it didn’t seem like he had heard Taekwoon at all.

 

Taekwoon didn’t think that was a good idea, at this point, especially looking at Wonshik up close. He really didn’t look well. His skin was still colorless and his eyes were bleary; Taekwoon really just wanted him to rest.

 

“You look exhausted.” Taekwoon responded simply, but Wonshik still wasn’t listening to him. His eyes travelled up to the bright ceiling lights above him and then screwed shut, focused back on the gym equipment around them.

 

His concern was growing when he realized that the light was hurting Wonshik’s eyes. That was usually only the case if a migraine was plaguing him. Not only that, but Wonshik seemed confused, when there was nothing to be confused about.

 

“At least stretch first-” Taekwoon stammered when Wonshik started walking off towards the weights. He really wasn’t in his right mind if he was going to lift first, rather than stretching. “Wonshik-”

 

He gripped his arm and Wonshik almost flinched at the touch, but he stopped, and that was what Taekwoon needed. He raised his voice, this time, figuring that he was speaking too softly to be authoritative. “Are you listening to me?”

 

His eyes were scrunched shut again when he tried to pull away, and at first Taekwoon was afraid that he’d been too loud - but when Wonshik’s eyes rolled back and his knees buckled underneath him, he understood what was really going on.

 

“Whoa, okay, okay,” Taekwoon inhaled sharply when Wonshik seemed to lose any grip he had on himself all in that moment. Taekwoon managed to get a firm grasp on his shoulders and he sank down to the floor with him, arms falling around him as he pulled him close after a few moments. “Wonshik…” he murmured softly, eyes wide as he held Wonshik closely, afraid to let him go.

 

“Migraine?” It had to be. It was something that would come to Wonshik often with stress.

 

He felt Wonshik nod, his head buried into his shoulder. Taekwoon’s heart sank. “I’ll help you back to my room. You really need to rest, Wonshik.”

 

Wonshik was quiet, sinking further into Taekwoon’s hold. It didn’t seem like he was going to get up any time soon, especially after nearly passing out like that.

 

He heard Wonshik sniffle, and pulled him closer.

 

“You brought your migraine medicine, right?” Taekwoon asked him softly, keeping his voice quiet. He knew how much it could worsen the headache if he spoke too loudly. “I can go get it for you, love. Do you want to stay here and wait, or should I bring you back to my room first?”

 

Wonshik must have been trying to decide what would be a better option, because he stayed quiet. Taekwoon didn’t rush him. He stayed quiet, holding the younger close to him, carefully running a hand along his spine. It was hard to comfort him. With after what had happened, and a migraine, now.

 

“I’m sorry,” Wonshik murmured, his voice muffled, “I thought it would go away if I was doing something.”

 

Taekwoon gave a small sigh, shaking his head. “Wonshik, how many times has that helped your headaches?”

 

Wonshik didn’t answer, which meant Taekwoon got his point across.

 

After pressing a kiss to his cheek, Taekwoon pulled back from Wonshik, trying to get a look at him - his eyes were unfocused and half lidded, but he could see the pain - both physical and mental - behind it. “Come on, love. Can you stand?”

 

He nodded, barely. He managed to push himself up with some difficulty but Taekwoon was there the whole time, holding onto him in case he fell again. He could feel how tense Wonshik was, just by contact.

 

He was careful with Wonshik, when he led him back to Taekwoon’s room. Unfortunately, like Wonshik’s room, it was pretty high up - the fourteenth floor - so they had to take the elevator all the way up. Wonshik looked nauseous enough as it was. This would probably just worsen it.

 

He gripped his hand the whole way up. Taekwoon could feel him only growing more tense; in his hand, his breaths, even his skin was paling further. There wasn’t much that Taekwoon could do, other than hold his hand and verbally comfort him. And the problem was that it wasn’t just a migraine. It was everything else, too.

 

Wonshik stumbled into the bathroom as soon as they made it to Taekwoon’s room, hunched over the toilet, gagging and retching. Taekwoon was beside him with a hand on his back. Wonshik didn’t have anything to bring up but bile and water, and Taekwoon couldn’t imagine how much that was hurting him, how much it was burning his throat.

 

Taekwoon wandered off to get Wonshik’s medicine after letting him know. His room wasn’t far, thankfully, and by the looks of it he had hardly touched his suitcase, which made searching through his suitcase easier.

 

He managed to find the medicine but there was something that caught his eye - a low, fuzzy light coming from under the blanket. He dug around the tangled sheets and eventually found Wonshik’s cellphone, buzzing with a text from Jaehwan.

 

_ Jaehwanie _

_ 22:34 _

_ I love you, Wonshikie. Don’t forget _

 

It was weird seeing a text from Jaehwan that didn’t have any emojis, cute spellings or those little squiggly lines he liked to use - he must have been very worried.

 

Taekwoon couldn’t help the curiosity that overtook him and he opened Wonshik’s phone, knowing the passcode without a second guess.

 

Although, it opened to something that Taekwoon wasn’t expecting. A YouTube video, titled  _ VIXX Mexico 2016 Secret Night _ .

 

Taekwoon felt sick. Had Wonshik been watching this video?

 

He played it, finding the view to be from someone not too far from the stage. It started right at the intro for  _ Secret Night  _ \- where they were all on the floor, with Wonshik in the middle, the lights dimmed. When they came on again there was something already off with Wonshik - he wasn’t taking his normal calculated steps and he wasn’t careful - and the next thing he saw was Wonshik listing sideways, suddenly lying on the stage floor.

 

Taekwoon paused it, and took a breath. He hadn’t seen it. He hadn’t noticed a thing until he stepped over him, and even then, it didn’t quite register what happened.

 

He let it keep playing, taking notice of how quickly Hakyeon reacted. It looked to be almost like second nature to him when he helped lift Wonshik off the ground, passing him off to a staff member near the back. It seemed effortless, but Taekwoon knew just how much Hakyeon must have been panicking, how loudly the alarms blared in his brain.

 

Taekwoon huffed when he shut off the phone.

 

It wasn’t long until Taekwoon was back in his own hotel room, the medicine in his hand. The lights in the bathroom were off, and it looked like Wonshik had shut off the lights everywhere else, too - still leaving on the lamp where Taekwoon slept. Taekwoon wondered if he left it on so Taekwoon could still see.

 

Wonshik was curled in the sheets of the bed parallel to Taekwoon’s, his breaths even and quiet. He would have guessed that he was asleep, but his eyes were open.

 

“‘M sorry,” he mumbled in a slur when Taekwoon took a seat at the edge of the bed, running a hand through Wonshik’s dark hair.

 

Taekwoon shook his head, leaning down to kiss Wonshik’s temple. “Can you sit up, for a second? I have the medicine.”

 

Wonshik looked so ready to cry. His eyes were already watering, and it seemed as though every movement, every sound and every light was another stab to his brain - but he managed to do what Taekwoon asked, knowing the medicine would help, at least a little.

 

Taekwoon used one of the hotel room’s plastic cups to fill with water, handing it to Wonshik with two of the pills. He took them without a problem, but Taekwoon made sure to urge him to drink the rest of the water, worrying that he was dehydrated. 

 

Wonshik curled himself back into the bed when he finished the water, and Taekwoon laid beside him, his hands holding Wonshik closely. They were both exhausted. Taekwoon knew it would do them both good to at least shut their eyes for now, and he hoped that Wonshik would be able to do that if he wasn’t alone.

 

He was finally able to shut his eyes when he realized Wonshik started to snore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how many of you have listened to or read the lyrics to the songs in Ravi's mixtape but the title of this chapter and really just the contents of the chapter from wonshik's point of view are in reference to "Möbius Strip". I really like the lyrics a lot - the line from the chapter title in particular, "and they'll keep dancing" comes from "When can I escape this/What time is it/Even if time stops/my thoughts probably won’t/and they’ll keep dancing". It's something I really like about wonshik in general too, something about him to relate to, I think. That he's a real person too, not just some famous guy.
> 
> Anyway! If you haven't looked at the lyrics for "Möbius Strip" [here they are](http://fyeah-vixx.com/post/141075042051/lyrics-ravi-%EB%87%8C%EB%B9%84%EC%9A%B0%EC%8A%A4%EC%9D%98-%EB%9D%A0-feat-esbee), I think knowing them is important to knowing wonshik a bit more too.
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon! More soft fluff and crying,, thats all im good at oops. Thank you so so much for reading and I hope you all have a good day!!


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